February 25, 2011

Breaking My Heart!

Last night was tough on me, as a Mother. My sweet little girl had not ate all week long. My mind thought it was only about being sick. I have been making Isabella drink lots of fluid so as to not get dehydrated, especially with not eating. Everything I mentioned to make for her, she shook her head and said no. She told Grandma, "I haven't been eating lately." This statement got me worried and in an attempt to make her eat SOMETHING for dinner our conversation went like this:

Me: Isabella, you HAVE to eat something. You are going to keep loosing weight if you don't eat.

I: I need to loose weight, Mom. I have a big Belly!

Me: WHAT? Are you kidding me...You are perfect Isabella....You don't have a big Belly.

I: Yes I do Mom...No one in my class has a big Belly like I do.

Oh No, No, No. You have to be kidding me that she thinks this at 5 years old. Does it really start this early? It broke my heart. She has true and horrible feelings already of her body image. Sure, I remember the feelings myself and the way kids were so mean to me about being overweight. But gosh, I surely was NOT five years old!

I: Besides Mom, I don't really like school because some of the kids are mean to me (she has told me of a few instances ... one of a broken promise and one of a kid shaking her shirt when she asked him a question).

Bless her heart, AGAIN! She is just like me in that she has this sensitive and emotional heart. Chris was at a work dinner and not home to deal with me. I called Grammy and Pop and they gave her a pep talk about God and all of her family thinking she is perfect and making everyone different. I went off some advice from our dear friend Ms. Amanda and told her along the same lines...God loves you Isabella and when people are mean to you it makes God super sad. He wants you to remember to love everyone and be kind. I talked to Aunt Amy and confessed that although Isabella needs to toughen up, I really don't want her to. It is what makes her so special to all of us.

Then I cried...
I cried because I truly remember what Isabella feels...
I cried because I am so mad that she already has to go through this...
I cried because I wonder and worry about how I am going to teach my child how absolutely beautiful she is when other kids are always going to be there saying otherwise...
I cried because this is what my girl has looked like all week....


And I prayed for the Lord to help me. To give me the strength to deal with my own weight issues. I will not be using the word diet around my house anymore. I will work on exercising and being healthy so I am a good example for my daughter. Chris and I will continue to shower our daughter with praise and love in hopes that our encouragement will prevail, no matter what.

6 comments:

Meagan Kenney said...

OKay, now I am crying. Isabella Rose: YOU ARE PERFECT! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT!

Seriously, sometimes I think Kindergarten is the worst. We have been through cruel kids too. Maddie even said, "I don't want to go back to Dobson Academy." I guess there's some girls in her class that make fun of her and call her "blondie." Blonde girls are not invited to their birthdays, etc...

I know she would have this anywhere she goes. Why are kids so cruel? It just breaks my heart that our girls have to go through this. Just have Bella keep God in her heart...

Munchie's Soap Box said...

Oh man Beck! I want to cry for her and take all her hurt away ;(....your sweet angel. She's so lucky to have you as a mom though. Hang in there my friend ;)....the thing about Bella is that not only is she perfect on the outside but she IS beautiful on the inside. That is something I drive home to Lilly all the time, "you can be the pretties girl with the cutest clothes but if your words and actions are not nice, it makes you ugly." Hope Bellas' week gets better :)

terenjaxteegan said...

We talked- or chatted. Boooooo to mean girls, but yeah for a mommy who is doing a wonderful job.

Caitlin Rodriguez said...

Oh Beck, I am so sorry. I am so sorry she is feeling this way. You are doing everything right, love, god and family...is exactly what she needs. Please kiss her for me.
I learned not to use the "diet" word 2 years ago in front of Beauy which started her belly questions. It is amazing what our sweet, wonderful girls go through.
Love you, and I am proud of you!

Rebecca Titone said...

I don't understand, she is perfect. She is a normal 5 year old, and so pretty. I am really mad that some bratty kids are being mean to her.
I want my kids to gang up on them in her defense.(I know not good parenting on my part)
My girls LOVE Isabella, and think she is sooo cool; have us come over more after school.It might make her feel more confident to see kids that really like her, for her.
And don't you wonder what kind of parents do these kids have if they say such mean things?
I try not to use the diet word as much either, but it is hard when pertaining to certain foods. But I did tell them you only go on diets when you're old like mommy and have had a lot of babies.
So they don't ask about it anymore.

Amanda Roe said...

Boooo to mean girls is right! And Becky you are such a good mom and know just what to say. I always want to protect Mia from mean things but you know they have to go through some hard times to make them into the great women they are going to be. Kisses to her sweet face!!! (and yours)